Rabbits and Aliens
by Candybree
Summary: The Torchwood Team has a little problem with rabbits and aliens.


**Disclaimer: I only own Torchwood in my happy little dreams.**

**A/N:** I blame this completely on Galadriel1010's dare of using the line "It wasn't the aliens that were the problem exactly, it was more the effect they had on the rabbits" in a story.

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"Ianto you have to do something about your rabbits. They are completely insane!" Gwen yelled.

Ianto glanced around the Hub and sighed in defeat when he saw the rabbits had cornered Gwen in the boardroom again.

"How many times do I have to tell you? They aren't my rabbits they are Jack's." Ianto picked up two of the rabbits that were cornering Gwen and they snuggled against his chest. "And it's not my fault they don't seem to like you."

"They just need a firmer hand to control them."

At the sound of Jack's voice the rabbits that were still cornering Gwen backed off and moved to rub against Jack's legs. Jack picked up the smallest of the rabbits and cuddled it, scratching it under the chin and cooing, before he walked out of the room with the rabbits trailing behind him.

Ianto put the two rabbits he as holding on the floor and they quickly scampered after Jack.

"Better now?" Ianto asked.

Gwen huffed and stormed out of the room leaving Ianto to sigh to an empty room.

Ianto made his way down to Tosh's station, picking up garbage and throwing it in the bin along his way, and he sat down heavily in the chair beside hers.

"Why does everyone keep insisting the rabbits are mine?" Ianto asked quietly.

"You are Jack's keeper." Tosh responded softly, petting the rabbit that had fallen asleep on her lap. "As Jack's keeper you are responsible for the actions of any and all pets he decides to keep. Look at what happened with Myfanwy. Jack brought her in and you and he are the only ones who can get near her."

Ianto let the topic drop and helped Tosh look through the Hub's programs for glitches. They worked together silently until one of the monitors started beeping madly.

"Damn it." Tosh swore under her breath.

Ianto let out a small chuckle as Jack came bursting out of his office.

"What do we have Tosh?" He called, bounding down the stairs.

"Two more Leirdas have slipped through the rift." Tosh told him.

All the Torchwood members heard Owen's curses from the autopsy bay.

It wasn't the aliens that were the problem exactly, it was more the effect they had on the rabbits. The rabbits had been very calm and loving until the first of the Leirdas showed up. Now they became vicious with the littlest provocation. Except to Jack and Ianto.

They had also grown in numbers over the last two weeks. Jack had originally brought in two baby males and now there were 37 fully grown rabbits and Myfanwy was starting to refuse to come out of her cave. Not even Owen could explain how it was possible.

"Can't we just shoot the aliens?" Owen asked. "With the Leirdas dead the rabbits would go back to normal."

"We can't just kill them Owen." Jack said.

"Why not?"

"Since 1959 we have had a treaty with the Leirdas. If we didn't harm them when they came to Earth accidentally then they wouldn't destroy the world."

"And how would they destroy the world?" Gwen asked. "When the first Leirda showed up you said they were an essentially harmless race that had no weapons more advanced than a spear."

"Have you not seen what they have done to the rabbits?" Ianto said. "All of this was unintentional. Imagine what would happen if they actually put some effort into what they were doing and the effects were worldwide."

"Oh god." Gwen gasped, her eyes widening as she thought of the destruction the Leirdas could cause.

"Besides we won't have to deal with them for much longer." Jack reassured them. "This happens every 50 years or so. They will stop coming through today or tomorrow and then the rift will open up and take them back a few days after that."

Jack slipped an arm around Ianto's waist and nuzzled his neck gently. "And then our bed will be back to normal."

Ianto pulled away from Jack and swatted his hands whenever he tried to grab him.

"The rule still stands Jack. No sex until there is nothing that breathes and has a natural fur coat in the bed. Now let's go pick up the latest arrivals."

Ianto walked away from Jack and Jack stared after him, more determined than ever to get the rabbits under control.


End file.
